Let me share a little of this journey with you
Back in 2005 I landed a job in the Coal mines, west of Mackay. It was a joyous occasion as I had been trying to survive for too long as a Single mum on not nearly enough to survive (Centrelink payments), don’t get me wrong I appreciated the payments but they just never ever lasted long enough and I felt that certain stigma associated with being a single mum. I had worked hard all my life, even owned my own businesses and here I was after much trauma in my life, barely surviving!
I was very successful at driving the trucks even after having to deal with the male dominance. But there I was working for the biggest mining magnate in the world, bringing in, in excess of over one hundred thousand dollars a year. I had succeeded at providing for myself and my children. Then came that crashing down accident that sent me into turmoil. Yes I was the victim of a workplace accident that rendered me useless, stricken with a perferated disc in my neck and severe whiplash. I hit rock bottom. Depression set in as my young children became my carers. No mother ever expects her children to be looking after her when they are still so young. My youngest was only 7 yrs old at the time.
I started going on the computer, just to play games. It was a way of me escaping some of the hurt. I knew little about this virtual world, I even had my son write down the meanings to such things as lol, brb, tc, ty and many others… that’s how new I was at this. That was 2007 and my life was to be filled with Chronic pain for over 4 years.
The time I had, not being able to do anything, had me starting to think back over my life. See I had lived through so much hurt and pain already, that this started the journey within… why had I made so many mistakes over the years? Why did I chose bad relationships over and over and over again. I started to question all sorts of things about my life and realised that men had played such a bit part of the hurt, so I removed them. Yes, for the past almost 5 yrs I have not been in any relationship with men… I know… hard to fathom, huh.
Not only did I start my inner journey, I started researching health products that could help with my pain… I knew the doctors prescribed painkillers weren’t doing me much good and were not working. I really wanted to try and find a healthier option. I did find that product and approx 8 months ago I found something that helped. I started to feel life was worth living. I felt re-born as I began to think further ahead than just the next day. I decided it was time to share my life story, so that I might help others.
Little did I know that writing about my life was going to start an avalanche of emotion. Six months it took. Crying for 3 days at a time in a fetal position, with my daughters looking on and wondering why there mum was so upset and stressed. I looked at them through my blurred red eyes and told them Mummy needs to let this go, please just love me and allow mummy time to heal. They were so wonderful in those days, with understanding and love in their hearts. Just as they have always been there to love me unconditionally. I have been truly blessed with such beautiful, caring children.
There are some stories in my book that I have not shared with anyone, these were the hardest to write about… having to relive those times of abuse was so difficult. I want you all to know that by allowing the hurt to surface and be written down, has been so cathartic. I began to heal old wounds and it felt good. Learning how to love oneself again, trusting myself with decisions and allowing myself to take the time to heal from the heart. I spent hours researching positive quotes, these made me feel better, and if they made me feel better then maybe they would help others feel better. So I began to share them on Facebook and found another world of people full of love and pain. As I started to share my journey amongst my friends I could feel there pain… not knowing who or what to turn to.
I realised if I could put together a Workshop that could help these ladies understand where they were sitting within their hurt, then that would be beneficial for all. Every single one of us learning from each other. I also believed some women need a shoulder to cry on and an ear to listen, so I am starting a consulting/mentoring from the heart program, and in the near future I would love to be standing on stage able to inspire others coming through adversities.
My book is just the beginning, a platform, so that others may see a light shining at the end of their tunnel. It is Time for us to share with each other to comfort and support. By sharing my life story I know this will help many others wanting to start their journey to a brighter future.
I send you all Love and Blessings