I want to share with you a little of my journey over the last few months and the reason I am making these decisions.
As most of you know I wrote my autobiography and published in Dec 2012. Boy has that time flown. After writing my book and releasing all the pain and hurt of the past, I felt empty… I could actually feel a gaping hole in my stomach, obviously that had been where I had carried all that pain and hurt.
I decided to move to the country to do some healing, spend some time on me, and with my daughter in a place where there was great serenity and much peace.
However…that was not meant to be for long as we were called to Bundaberg. Mum had had a fall and was now in a coma and palliative care. Mum passed away on the 19th April, 2013. This saddened me so much.
Back out to the farm we went, to try and cope with mums passing as well as my own healing. Only a few weeks later my then 19yr old daughter calls me to say she is pregnant (22.5 weeks to be exact) and can I return to help and support her.
My youngest and I moved back and house sat a home in Mt. Coolum, and my pregnant daughter moved in with us. My first grandbaby, a little girl (Xena) arrived on the 24th Sept, 2013.
My time for me would have to wait. I was now the proud grandmother (Ninni) and times would be busier now with a little baby in the house.
I suffer from Chronic pain from a workplace accident I had in 2007, it has been almost 7 yrs since that day… An accident I needed to have to start this most amazing learning journey I have been on.
Facebook had always been there for me, from not long after the accident. I could be whomever I wanted to be. No one knew my pain and Facebook soon became my friend. It helped me get through each day. I befriended many and now have over 4,000 friends. I liked to think I could help others, commenting and liking their posts, and it helped me also in the process. I started reading and posting beautiful quotes, some spiritual, some funny. I have also met some amazing friends through Facebook that I would not of had the pleasure of meeting if it had not been for social media. Fb saved my life back in the days when I could not see a light at the end of my tunnel.
My journey has had me facing some really big questions and one of those is what am I here for and how can I really help others. I felt that by writing my book about overcoming abuse, that that would help others, but I realised that it was more about me releasing all that pain and hurt, and in turn that one day my book would also give others hope that there is a light at the end of the tunnel.
I have been sitting with a quietness within me, waiting to find out what it is I am meant to do. Learning lessons along the way.
One of the main things I had never been taught or even knew was how to set healthy boundaries, that it was ok to say no. It was ok to put myself first, to love the person that I am. I am worthy of love and it was something I had never really experienced in my life… except for the birth of my beautiful children.
I’ve lost a lot in my life, but the biggest thing I lost was ME. It is now time. I have spent many years learning about what is important to me in life… and it is not money, nor flash cars or houses.
I have experienced having money, some very big money to also having nothing. I have learnt that it is when we hit rock bottom that our thoughts change around what our priorities are and what and who is important to us.
I want to step back into reality. I want to make contact with people/friends face to face. I want to get back to real connection.
I read an article just recently stating that our brains shut down when using social media sites and it does this to cope with the barrage of information coming in, and when part of our brain is shut down, we become unattentive to those around us. We become numb.
For me I need to do this, it won’t be exactly that easy… However it is my time to rediscover me. I’m excited to be disconnecting and really truly connecting with those around me.
How about you? Are you willing to disconnect in order to reconnect?
I have a few projects that I need to spend time on and one of those is starting to write my second book. This journey is exciting and I am so looking forward to carving a new path ahead.
Love and blessings to you all and if you would like to stay in touch, you can email me at email@example.com
And if you have a desire to purchase my book ‘Blonde Roots’ please pop over to http://narellewarcon.com/